It is a subject I have been thinking about lately. I have a beautiful, smart and amazing friend. She loves sports, shopping, hanging out with friends and attend events. Her name is Ilham. Ilham and I are very similar. We care about the same things, laugh about the same things and share many of the same dreams. She is one of the persons you just immediate get a connection with.
“Oh wow! Are you guys friends?”, “I did not imagine you being such good friends”, “You guys are so different!” This is comments we get almost every day. The issue with this is that we are not that different. We like and care about the same things? I would say we are very much the same. But then we know what they are referring to. The looks. We live in 2018 and people to still categorize people based on looks.
Let us break it down. I am born and raised in Norway, and I can wear what I want, when I want and would rarely get a comment on that. Crop tops or short skirts are not an unusual part of my wardrobe. Ilham she is born in Brooklyn, New York, with a family from Jemen. She does dress up in niqab and a little more covered up than I normally do. When we are walking the streets of New York together, attends social settings we get reactions: because we do look so different. We have never cared about that, because in the end you do not base your friends on how you dress up and look, right? Ilham have never ever questioned my shorter skirts or crop tops, nor have I with her long dresses. So why does other people have to do it then? “It is so weird that you guys are friends, when you look like that.”
Honestly, Ilham and I may never thought we would be best friends either. She had her thoughts about tall, blondies from Scandinavia, and I thought we wouldn’t have much in common. I think it is because people are dragged to people that look like us. Just look at us Norwegains, we are looking quite the same many of us. In big cities we also see groups of people with the same similarities group together. In many cases I think this is more about a comfort zone and security or insecurity. Cause we might be a little scared of what is different, and we do not know how to address it. We for example only know how to be Norwegian.
We it comes to other human beings and cultures, we need to open up our heart and mind. Talk to the person at school or at work which you never have spoken too, and ask yourself why? This person may be a person you have much more in common with than you think. Looks on the outside does not define the person on the inside. Ilham and I are very much the same. Yes, we are brining with us our differences, but those differences have been amazing, I have been celebrating Ramadan, eaten new food and she has been with me at Christmas celebrations and got an advent calendar. Our different backgrounds have teached us so much.